Trump’s Secret Diet, Apple’s Big Screen Rules & More Unrest in India | The Daily Show

Trump’s Secret Diet, Apple’s Big Screen Rules & More Unrest in India | The Daily Show


President Trump. Ever since he moved
into the White House, he’s been worried
about two things. One, that Eric would find out
where he went, and two, that a deep state
inside his own government was secretly out to get him. Well, it turns out
he may have been right. A doctor
who once told the nation President Trump
has incredible genes admits making
some secret additions to Mr. Trump’s diet. NEWSMAN: Ronny Jackson served
as presidential physician for five years, until 2018. He tells The New York Times
he and his staff were working on improving
the president’s diet. Those efforts reportedly
included putting cauliflower in the president’s
mashed potatoes. Jackson told The Times
his goal was to help Trump lost up to 15 pounds. Yep, you heard that right. The White House doctor
was secretly hiding cauliflower in Trump’s mashed potatoes
so that he would eat healthier. And really,
that’s so unnecessary, because Trump gets enough fiber from whenever he eats his burger
without unwrapping it first. Although,
if this worked for his food, maybe they
could also trick Trump into being more effective
as a president. Like, maybe they could sneak
intelligence briefings inside his porno mags. -Yeah.
-(laughter) That would be great for him,
and then he’d learn something. He’d be like,
“Wow, this lady’s jugs “are as big as the Russian
presence inside of Syria. -(laughter)
-Hey, wait a minute.” But for real, though,
I feel bad for Trump, man. ‘Cause this is the kind
of trick you use on dogs, you know, to feed them pills. The White House doctor says
he was doing this? You can’t treat
a grown man this way. Like, what happens
if Trump gets injured? Are they gonna make him wear
one of those cones -so he doesn’t chew on it?
-(laughter) Undignified. I mean, sneaking cauliflower
into his food is not cool. First of all, cauliflower isn’t
even one of the good vegetables. It’s just light-skinned
broccoli. Boom! Roasted you, Cauliflower! All right, moving on
to the world of entertainment. Yesterday, one of Hollywood’s
biggest directors gave up one of Hollywood’s
biggest secrets. There’s no bad apples here.
Rian Johnson, writer and director
of Knives Out, says that even though Apple
allows filmmakers to use its products in their films,
there’s one exception– a bad guy or any antagonist cannot be seen using
an Apple iPhone. Wow. I didn’t know this. Only the good guys in a movie
can use iPhones? I mean, now that we know it,
it’s gonna ruin the suspense -in every film.
-(laughter) Yeah, because now mystery movies
won’t even need detectives. They’ll just be like, “Okay,
I’m starting a group text. “Let’s see who’s blue,
who’s green. Yep. Christoph Waltz came in green
again. Movie over.” And you know what,
forget movies, I don’t even trust those people
in real life. If I get a green text bubble, best believe
I’m calling the cops. I’m just calling the cops. All right, I’m moving on.
We all know this week President Donald Jai Ho Trump made his first
official state visit to India. And while he was there,
he said everything was great. Well, it turns out
that in the streets of New Delhi the situation
was spiraling out of control. NEWSWOMAN: Violent clashes
between Hindus and Muslims in the Indian capital
of New Delhi have left
at least 20 people dead and more than 150 hurt. At the center of the dispute
is a controversial new law which makes it easier
for non-Muslims to become citizens of India. The fighting began Monday
between thousands demonstrating for and against the new law,
and it coincided with President Trump’s visit
to India. NEWSMAN:
When asked about the violence, Trump praised Modi for fighting
for religious freedom. He wants people
to have religious freedom, and very strongly,
and he said that in idiot… India, they have, uh,
they have worked very hard to have great
and open religious freedom. -“He said that in idiot”?
-(laughter) This is really interesting. So, Trump asked Modi, “What’s going on
with religious violence?” and then Modi says,
“Well, nothing to do with me,” and what,
Trump just believes him? Like, how is he so gullible?
Anytime a world leader says they’re not guilty of something,
Trump just believes it. Whether it’s Putin, Kim Jong-un,
Modi, it doesn’t matter. Like, Trump would be
the perfect partner to cheat on. You know? He’d be like,
“Hey, you got a text “from Big Dick Dave. Who is that?” She’d be like, “Oh, that’s
just my really tall friend, Richard Dave.” “Oh, okay.
Have a fun night working late!” And, you know,
I’m not only worried about what’s happening
in India right now, I’m worried
that this situation in India might affect the United States. Because in this country,
rich white women love copying everything
from Indian culture. Yoga. Tai chi. Pretty soon they’re gonna be
running around in the streets like, “I read about this
new Indian ritual on Goop. “You go into the streets and
you beat the shit out of someone “who’s totally different
than you. “I do it three times a week, “and I feel so refreshed
afterwards. Yeah. It’s like an ethnic cleansing.” (laughter, groaning) Now… now, here’s the deal. Here’s the deal.
I’m gonna simplify it, but the story
around the unrest in India is a really complicated issue. What it boils down to is
India’s current leader, Narendra Modi, who is Hindu,
has been accused of creating laws
that oppress the rights of India’s
minority Muslim population. And once again,
we’re in a situation where religion is causing people
to fight against each other. And, guys, I’m not gonna lie.
It-it makes me so sad. We shouldn’t be fighting
over whether we’re Hindu or Christian
or Muslim or Jewish. We should all come together
to fight the real enemy: people with green text bubbles. Goddamn all of them.